The inspector gadget movie script

(this isn't all of it but whatever)

[Mechanical Whirring,

Buzzing, Clicking]

[Ringing, Whizzing]

[Siren Blaring]

[Women]


 * 1) Inspector Gadget #


 * 1) Ooh-ooh

Inspector Gadget #

[Horn Honks]


 * 1) Inspector Gadget #

- [Barking]

- # Ooh-ooh #


 * 1) Inspector Gadget #

# Go, Gadget, go #

# Go, Gadget, go #

[Croaking]


 * 1) Inspector Gadget #


 * 1) Ooh-ooh

Inspector Gadget #

# Go, Gadget, go ##

- [Man Yelling] Help!

- [Children Screaming]

- [Man] See you at the P. T.A. Meeting.

- ## [Whistling]

- [Woman] Good morning, Officer Brown.

- Morning.

- [Man]

Officer Brown! How do you do?

- Morning.


 * 1) [Whistling]

[Children Screaming]

[Screaming]

No brakes!

Help, Uncle John!

- Somebody help!

- Save us!

Help!

[Gasps]

- [Children Screaming]

- [Screaming]

Where's Officer Brown?

- [Squeals]

- [Grunts]

[Screaming]

- [Grunting]

- [Gasping]

- [Screaming]

[Gasps]

[Screaming]

Help!

[Children,

Crowd Screaming]

[All Gasp, Sigh]

- Hey, the dog!

- [All] The dog!

- [Dog Howls]

- [Crowd Cheers]

[Girl]

Oh, Harvey!

Officer Brown,

you're my hero.

Oh, please, miss.

It was nothing. Oh, geez...

All in a day's work, ma'am.

Any cop woulda done the same.

Brain? Yech.

[Laughing]

Having another hero cop dream,

Uncle John?

Every time I close my eyes.

How was school?

Fine.

Don't forget:

Tomorrow's the day parents

come and talk about their careers.

Oh. Well, I might have to work.

You want me to ask off?

Oh, no. That's okay.

Parents coming to school...

whose idea was that anyway?

- But if it's important to you, Penny...

- Did the letter come?

Letter? Uh, gee, well...

What letter?

I don't... Oh, yes.

They said two years as a security guard

isn't enough experience to be a cop.

- Uncle John, I'm sorry.

- Me too.

Well, I can still secure and protect.

I just think I could do

so much more good as a cop.

Hey, wait a minute.

Tomorrow's your day off.

Oh, well...

[Sighs]

Look, I know that

Nicole's dad is a lawyer,

and Kim's dad is a dentist,

and I just didn't want

to embarrass you with your friends.

If I only had that badge.

Uncle John, it's not the badge,

it's the heart behind it.

I'm very proud of you.

[Woman]

Fingers crossed.

This chip is gonna make

the whole Gadget project work.

- Dad, concentrate. Try to move the foot.

- [Sighs]

[Man]

All right. Kick the ball.

[Sighs]

Nothin'. I'm hungry.

Okay, all right. I'll go get us

some dinner. But then we keep going.

- Yeah.

- Okay. I'll call the guardhouse...

so they don't search

the deliver guy again.

Hello, Antonio's? Yeah, it's Brenda.

No, foot's still not moving.

- Dad, keep thinking about

that foot. Yep, the usual.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.


 * 1) [Humming]


 * 1) [Continues Humming]

- [Gasping] Dad.

- Hmm? What?

[Brenda Stammers]

Tap your foot again.

- What?

- Huh.

That's weird.

Wh-What were you thinking about?

I was thinking about how much

you remind me of your mother.

[Snickers]

Wait a second.

Wait a second!

That's it! It's animated

by will, not by thought.

By your heart, not your head!

[Laughing]

- Come on, try it again. Do it again!

- All right.

[Laughing]

[Together]

We did it! We moved the foot!

- [Woman] Jack, queen...

- [John Whistles]

[John]

Brenda Bradford... she's so beautiful.

- Wowser.

- [Woman]

Black eight on the red nine...

- What?

- Oh, oh, nothin'.

I was just talkin' to myself.

Thelma, how do I look?

Like a geek from Kansas

who became a security guard.

- [Cat Meowing]

- [Man] Brenda Bradford.

Well, good evening, young lady.

It's been a while. [Chuckles]

- Four, three, two, one, zero.

- ## [Brenda Humming]

- [Watch Beeps]

- Go.

- Dr Bradford.

- Yes?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I borrowed a book from your dad.

- You did?

- Power Learning Through Speed Study.

- Oh.

It took me forever

to get through it.

But I really think

it's gonna pay off, though.

I just applied

to the Riverton police force.

- Yeah?

- It's what I've always wanted to do.

- Help people, that is.

- Um, I gotta...

Dr Bradford is out

of the lab and we can go in.

Sikes, release the remote-control van.

[Electronic Beeping]

- Nice stars.

- Yeah? Which ones?

I just meant the whole...

- All of'em.

- Oh, I thought you meant

a specific cluster.

I always take everything

so literally.

- So do I.

- Yeah?

I forgot my keys.

- Oh.

- [Chuckles]

- I'm... Okay. Night.

- Sorry. Good night, now.

[Sighs] Well, I'll just stay here,

then, and, uh, secure the parking lot.

[Tyres Screeching]

Concentrate, you twit!

Hey, that guy's speeding.

Ten miles an hour

in the parking lot, buddy!

- No-no-no-no, straight ahead!

No, left!

- Bad cat. Bad cat.

Left, Sikes, turn!

- What was that?

- We have an intruder

on the premises... a black van.

- Where?

- Try that big hole in the wall!

[Gasps]

Brenda.

- Huh?

- Hello, Artemus. I'll take that.

Oh, no, wait.

No, no, no, no!

- Now, just a moment... [Gasps]

- Arrivederci, Professor.

Uh-oh! Someone's gonna

blame the old lady.

Sniffy, let's go.

[Sobbing]

Dr Bradford, I won't rest until

lfind whoever's responsible.

Justice will be served.

Brown, where are you going?

- To catch the bad guys!

Stand back, Thelma!

- This isn't going to end well.

- You're not on duty, Brown!

- I'm always on duty!

[Sighs]

[Laughing]

[Chattering, Yelling]

[Horn Honking]

Oh, no. We're being chased

by the hatchback squad.

[Laughs]

Hey, I have a hatchback.

Ooh. Oh!

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

Whoa-oah!

Now you've crossed the line.

Pull over, you!

- Stop the car, Sikes.

I want to enjoy this.

- [Laughing]

Oh, gosh! Oh!

- [Laughing]

- [Laughing]

[Laughing]

Uh-oh.


 * 1) Yahoo #

Attention!

Driver of the wrecked limo...

attached

to the Yahoo! Billboard,

this is

Security Officer John Brown.

Please step out of the vehicle

immediately...

or... else.

Fine work,

Mr Security Guard. You got me.

- Here. Have a victory cigar.

- No, thanks.

Remember:

Smoking kills.

- I don't smoke.

- Oh, really? You will now.

[Laughing]

[John]

Oh, boy.

[Screams]

[Shrieking]

My hand!

Pardon me! Excuse me!

Comin'through!

- Hey, have you seen

my uncle, John Brown?

- Uh, he's in there.

Uncle John?

Please wake up.

I know you can hear me.

Look who I brought to visit.

Look, it's Brain.

He came to see you.

Okay. No.

Not in his mouth, Brain. No. No.

Okay, stop.

We're lookin'at extensive

tissue damage:

44 fractures,

a major concussion,

all coupled with

extensive internal trauma.

This man tried

to save my father.

His risked his life

to protect our work.

- We've done all we can.

- Not yet, we haven't.

- Mayor's coming through!

Clear the way!

- Dr Bradford!

Clear for the mayor!

Dr Bradford, both I and

Police Chief Quimby here...

- Hi.

- Are very sorry to hear

about your father.

- He was a good man.

- Oh. D-Did you know him?

No, I didn't.

So, how soon can you finish

the Gadget project, hmm?

I'm sure that he would have wanted me

to finish it as soon as possible.

- Mmm. Oh.

- Yeah. With the, uh,

"English Patient" there?

- That's enough, Quimby.

- Sorry. Just doesn't look like

you got off to a good start.

[Laughing] So, how can you be so

sure that this is the proper subject?

Dad told me that I would know

when the right man came along.

John Brown's the right man.

- Well.

- Well.

That's good enough for me.

[Laughs]

Let's go.

[All]

Hmm.

- Chain saw!

- Waxy build-up, stat.

- Bring in the hoses, stat!

[Surgeons Continue Noisily]

[Man]

Ready, and... break!

It's a thing of beauty,

Quimby.

The future of law enforcement

reborn before our very eyes.

Yeah... Columbo and Nintendo

all rolled into one.

He'll make you obsolete:

No overtime, no hazard pay,

no blue flu. [Laughs]

And he won't call me

"Evil Gidget" behind my back.

Oh, by the way, what do we have

on the Artemus Bradford murder?

Well, we got a limo

with no licence...

and some scrap metal from whatever

it was that broke into the lab.

- Do we at least know what was stolen?

- According to Doctor Bradford,

- a robotic foot.

- Robotic foot.

- A robotic foot?

- Yeah.

What kind of cyberfreak

are we dealing with?

[Man]

Not bad, Kramer.

- Not bad at all.

- [Relieved Sigh]

It's got a sort of postmodern

Captain Hook kind of feel to it.

Very diabolical.

[Chuckles]

I deserve

a dashing appellation.

"Dashing Appalachian"? What is that?

A hillbilly with a tuxedo?

- No, you idiot!

- No!

[Chuckles]

It's a nickname...

one that will send my enemies

cowering in fear.

Ah.

Ah, too bad

"Hook" is taken, huh?

- How 'bout..."Captain Claw"?

- Oh.

- No, no, no, no, no...

- Or "Santa Claw."

Just "Claw."

One word,

like "Madonna."

Well, anyhoo, Captain...

Sir... Mr Claw,

I know how much you like

to maintain an active lifestyle,

so I have managed to design...

a few interchangeable options.

- Hi, hi. [Laughs]

- Oh, very clever, Kramer.

[Mocking]

"Very clever, Kramer."

- Very clever, indeed. [Chuckles]

- [Gasps]

Well, first we have

the opera hand...

for those special nights out.

And I know how much

you enjoy Japanese food,

so I made you a sushi hand...

see there?

[Mimics Eating]

Tasty.

- Hmm.

- [Nervously] Also,

I don't remember if you enjoy

the medieval fare, but...

Kramer, that's enough.

Sikes, bring on the foot.

- [Shrieks, Sighs]

- Oops.

Hmm?

[Mechanical Whirring]

[Metallic Clang]

[Popping, Whizzing]

- [Chirping]

- What the...

What have they got me on?

Ooh! Ooh!

Oh, my... Oh! Ooh!

[Screams]

[Shrieking]

- I, um...

- Your thumb's on fire!

- I seem to be having a reaction.

- [Shrieking]

- Mr Brown.

- Oh. Oh, it's you.

It's all right.

It's all right.

- [Panting] Um, I, uh...

- [Mechanical Noises Continue]

I don't know what's wrong.

I, uh... I seem to be ill,

and I can't remember anything.

You may not remember very much

right now. You suffered a major

concussion in the explosion.

- What happened?

- You've just come out of

a very long recovery.

You are now a sophisticated network

of tissue, hardware and software.

No! I gotta get outta here.

Mr Brown...

Mr Brown, come back here.

We're gonna go in...

I'll take...

[Gasps]

[Panting]

Look, Mr Brown, I know

that this is all new for you,

and it must feel strange.

- [Mechanical Whirring]

- You will adjust.

- My head is very heavy.

- Don't worry. That's easy to fix.

[Grunts]

I don't wanna be like this.

I don't understand

what happened to me.

John, we saved your life.

I'm not me any more.

I'm a hardware store.

This is a huge opportunity.

You were designed...

as the first prototype

cyber police officer for

the Riverton Police Department.

You said yourself you wanted

to help people... this is your chance.

- I do want to help people.

- I know.

- Aiyee!

- Oh!

- [Coughs]

- I'll be with you every step

of the way.

Okay. I'd shake your hand

but you might lose an eye.